Opinion
The 23 most recent opinion briefs, newest first.
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July 6, 2026 · Opinion
Google Home Speaker (2026) vs. Nest Mini: Taller or smaller?
Google Spent Five Years and a Trillion Parameters to Make a Speaker That's Slightly Taller The Nest Mini came out in 2019. The iPhone that year had two cameras. "Old Town Road" was number one. And Go...
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July 5, 2026 · Opinion
Are Those Fake Books on the New Air Force One AI-Generated?
The White House Decorated Air Force One With Books, Which Is Already Suspicious The United States government accepted a luxury jet from Qatar, and the first thing anyone noticed was that the bookshel...
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June 25, 2026 · Opinion
The Best Movies to Stream This Month (June 2026)
This article is about streaming movie recommendations, not AI or tech news. It's a standard entertainment/culture piece from Wired about films available on streaming platforms in June 2026. DooDooLam...
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June 14, 2026 · Opinion
My yard is dying, so I made an app for that
Local Man Discovers AI Can Code Better Than Him, Immediately Questions Life Choices A software engineer at The Verge has just published what might be the most accidentally honest piece of tech journa...
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June 6, 2026 · Opinion
Phoebe Bridgers Ditched the Internet to Hype Up Her New Music. It’s Working
Local Musician Discovers Ancient Marketing Strategy: Actually Being Mysterious Phoebe Bridgers has apparently cracked the code on music promotion by doing something so radical it's left the entire in...
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May 25, 2026 · Opinion
The Booing Will Continue Until Commencement Speeches Improve
Music Executive Tells Graduates AI Will Save Them From Themselves, Gets Predictable Response Scott Borchetta, the man who discovered Taylor Swift and then spectacularly fumbled that relationship, dec...
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May 24, 2026 · Opinion
The post-search Google era begins
Google Decides You're Too Stupid to Use Google Google announced this week that searching the internet is apparently too complicated for humans, unveiling a future where AI agents will do your Googlin...
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May 12, 2026 · Opinion
Motorola Razr Ultra 2026 vs. Samsung Galaxy S26 Ultra: Two ultra phones for two different types of people
Premium AI Phones Now Come in Two Flavors: Nostalgic Flip and Slab That Costs More Than Your Rent In a stunning display of consumer choice innovation, the smartphone industry has announced that artif...
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May 7, 2026 · Opinion
What an AI-designed car looks like
Silicon Valley Discovers Cars, Decides They're "Legacy Transportation Platforms" In a stunning display of technological innovation, artificial intelligence has finally solved the centuries old proble...
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May 5, 2026 · Opinion
Ask.com Is Dead, and I’m Begging Its Owners Not to Bring AskJeeves Back as a Chatbot
Ask.com Finally Dies, Immediately Inspiring the Worst AI Pivot Ideas Since Microsoft Clippy Met ChatGPT Ask.com has officially shuffled off this mortal coil, and somewhere in a venture capital office...
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April 18, 2026 · Opinion
The only way to fight deepfakes is by making deepfakes
AI Detection Companies Finally Discover the Only Business Model Worse Than NFTs In a stunning display of circular logic that would make Ouroboros jealous, a cottage industry of deepfake detection sta...
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April 13, 2026 · Opinion
Your article about AI doesn’t need AI art
The New Yorker Discovers AI Art Exists, Immediately Regrets Everything The New Yorker, that bastion of literary sophistication and cartoon dogs talking about wine, decided to illustrate their Sam Alt...
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April 8, 2026 · Opinion
Cisco CEO Chuck Robbins wants data centers in space
Cisco CEO Discovers Space: Proposes Moving Data Centers to Final Frontier Because Earth's Power Grid Apparently Not Complicated Enough Chuck Robbins, CEO of networking behemoth Cisco, has gazed upon...
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April 3, 2026 · Opinion
Taylor Lorenz’s Screen Time Is Almost 17 Hours a Day
Tech Journalist Discovers She Can Monetize Screen Addiction, Calls It "Digital Liberation" Taylor Lorenz, the patron saint of extremely online behavior, has achieved what every doomscrolling millenni...
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April 2, 2026 · Opinion
Duolingo’s Luis von Ahn Wants to Delete the Blockchain
Duolingo CEO Declares War on Blockchain While Green Owl Holds Nation's Spanish Skills Hostage The man who gave the world both captchas and passive aggressive push notifications about missed Spanish l...
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March 20, 2026 · Opinion
ChatGPT did not cure a dog’s cancer
Local Man Discovers ChatGPT Cannot, In Fact, Perform Veterinary Oncology An Australian tech entrepreneur with zero medical training has inadvertently provided the internet with its latest cautionary...
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March 16, 2026 · Opinion
Now that the Galaxy S26 series has landed, what's your favorite new feature?
Samsung Releases Galaxy S26 Three Years Early, Immediately Asks What You Think About It In a stunning display of either time travel or extremely aggressive market research, Samsung has apparently shi...
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March 9, 2026 · Opinion
The Samsung Galaxy S26 series is here, so which device are you interested in buying?
Samsung Asks "Which Galaxy S26 Will You Buy?" as if Anyone Has Figured Out What the S25 Even Does Samsung has graciously provided Android Central with polling material by releasing three nearly ident...
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March 1, 2026 · Opinion
Sλmsung: defying the laws of physics
Samsung's New Galaxy S26 Ultra Reportedly Violates Several Laws of Optics, Physics Department Unavailable for Comment Samsung has announced their latest flagship phone with camera specifications so a...
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March 1, 2026 · Opinion
Nobody Knows Anything - Derek Thompson
Silicon Valley's Newest Hobby: Cosplaying Economic Prophets While Building ChatGPT Wrappers The tech industry has officially entered its "guy at the bar explaining cryptocurrency" phase, except now e...
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February 28, 2026 · Opinion
Orbs of Power: The terrifying truth behind UFOs and AI
Local Nuclear Plant Reports Unusual Visitor, Pentagon Shrugs, AI Researchers Somehow Make It About Training Data In what can only be described as the logical endpoint of tech Twitter's obsession with...
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February 27, 2026 · Opinion
Tech is overwhelming. Are AI agents the answer?
Local Man Discovers AI After Inventing Email Hell for Himself A tech journalist has made the groundbreaking discovery that computers might be useful for handling repetitive tasks, marking what expert...
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February 27, 2026 · Opinion
Anthropic’s Desperate Smear Campaign: A Pathetic Attempt to Hide China’s AI Dominance
Anthropic Publishes World's Most Expensive Blog Post About How DeepSeek Made Them Sad A $183 billion artificial intelligence company just spent what we can only assume was several million dollars in...